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144/365

8:52pm // Tuesday

I got dumped by my own best friend exactly 5 days ago. It sucks knowing that you're facing the same thing, twice- for the same reason. I've never felt this numb before, I feel useless and unworthy too. Where did I go wrong? Don't I deserve love and being appreciated by anyone? It's always I'm the one who is left alone and not I was the one leaving. It has been many times since I felt this way, why? I'm honestly very tired and I don't know who I can rely to. I feel hopeless for not being able to express the hurt I'm feeling. I feel so crushed inside. It's always the ones that I trust and love the most that disappoints me. Why? What's even wrong with me? I really thought I've tried my very best to be there for everyone. It seems unbelievable to me for people to do this to me. I rarely care so much for people and it sucks that these are the ones who hurt me big time. I feel dumb for still crying up until today, I should have focused more on other things. Not only that, I got ghosted by someone I really thought was the one. My bad, I expected too much. Double the move on, I guess? This just makes me question my worth even more. Moving on is super challenging at this moment, but I have no choice. 

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